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Me an' Earl was haulin' chickens
On a flatbed outa Wiggins And we had spent all night on the uphill side Of thirty seven miles of hell called Wolf Crick Pass Which was up on the great divide And we was sittin' there suckin' toothpicks And drinkin' Nehis an' onion soup mix And I says "Earl, let's mail a card to mother And then send them chickens on down t'other side" Yeah, lets give them hens a ride Wolf Crick Pass way up on the great divide Truckin' on down, the other side Well Earl put down his bottle Mashed his foot down on the throttle And then a couple of boobs, with a thousand cubes In a 1948 Peterbuilt screamed to life We woke up the chickens We roared up off'n that shoulder Sprayin' pine cones rocks 'n boulders And put four hundred head of them Road Island Reds And a couple of burnt out roosters on the line Look out below...cause here we go Wolf Crick Pass way up on the great divide Truckin' on down, the other side Well we commenced a truckin' And them hens commenced a cluckin' Then Earl took out a match, and scratched his pants And lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar And took a puff Says "My ain't this pretty up here" And I says "Earl this hill can spill us You better slow down or you gonna kill us Just make one mistake and it's the pearly gates For them eighty five crates Of USDA approved cluckers You wanna hit second?" Wolf Crick Pass way up on the great divide Truckin' on down, the other side Well Earl grabbed on the shifter And he stabbed her into fifth gear And then the chromium plated, fully illuminated Genuine ac-cessory shift knob Come right off in his hand I says "you wana screw that thing back on Earl ?" He was tryin' to thread it on there When the fire fell off a his cigar And dropped on down sorta rolled around And lit the cuff of Earls pants And burnt a whole in his sock Yeah it sorta set him right on fire I looked on outa the window An' I started in a countin' phone poles Goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power I put two an' two together Added twelve, an' carried five Come up with twenty two thousand telephone poles an hour I looked at Earl an' his eyes was wide His lip was curled and his leg was fried And his hands was froze to the wheel Like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard And I said Earl I'm not the type to complain But the time has come for me to explain That if you don't apply some brake real soon They're gonna have to pick us up with a stick an' a spoon Well Earl rared back Cocked his leg Stepped down as hard as he could on the brake And the pedal went clear to the floor And stayed - right there on the floor Says it's sorta like steppin' on a plum Well from there on down it just wasn't real pretty It was hairpin county and switchback city One of 'em looked like a can full of worms Another one looked like malaria germs Right in the middle of the whole damn show Was a real nice tunnel now wouldn't you know Sign says clearance to the twelve foot line But them chickens was stacked to thirteen nine Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred an' ten Like gas through a funnel an' eggs through a hen An' we took that top row of chickens off Slicker 'n the scum off a Louisiana swamp Went down an' around an' around an' down An' we run outta ground at the edge of town An' bashed on into the side of a feed store In downtown Pagosa Springs Wolf Crick Pass way up on the great divide Truckin' on down, the other side Wolf Crick Pass way up on the great divide Truckin' on down, the other side |
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